APRIL FOOLS’ DAY PARADE 2023

 

The New York April Fools’ Committee Proudly Announces
NEW YORK CITY’S 38th ANNUAL
APRIL FOOLS’ DAY PARADE

“Count Down to Complete Idiocy”

New York’s irreverent April Fools’ Day Parade returns, poking fun at the past year’s displays of hype, hypocrisy, deceit, bigotry, and downright stupid­ity! For the 38th year, the public is invited to create outrageous floats and dress up as look-alikes in colorful costumes to reflect the folly of the nuttiest politicians, crooked corporate leaders, silly celebrities, and whoever else has been a total fool in the past year.

The public is encouraged to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats. Floats should be no wider than 10 feet and no longer than 30 feet and can be self-propelled, towed, pushed or pulled. Customized bicycles, tricycles, baby carriages, and helium balloons are welcome.

The theme of the 2023 parade is “Countdown to Complete Idiocy”. Marchers will assemble at Fifth Ave and 59th St at 12 Noon, Saturday, April 1, and proceed downtown to Washington Square Park, site of a big party that will culminate with the climactic crowning of the King of Fools.

See previous parades covered by WNBC TV and Chinese TV. This year, for the first time, the entire parade will be nationally televised live on Fox News. Color commentary will be provided by Fox News anchor Tucker Carlson with opinions only–no truth and no objectivity. A media and VIP grandstand will be located in front of Trump Tower at Fifth Ave and 57^th St. The parade Grand Marshall this year is New York Representative George Santos dressed as Pinocchio. He’ll be followed by Ye (a.k.a. Kanye West) in his motorized golden chariot playing a re-mix of totalitarian national anthems on a pipe organ while unsellable Adidas sneakers are flung at the crowd. Then comes a drag show of newly woke M&M characters showing off their fashion re-branding.

The parade floats will lead off with the Atomic Doomsday Clock float on which leaders of Russia, China, Iran, and North Korea will be counting down from 90 seconds. Next is the Russian Oligarchs Accidental High Dive “He Slipped and Fell out the Window” float. On the Anti-abortion, Anti-vax, Anti-gay marriage, Anti-reality float, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, with the help of his wife Ginni, will be rewriting the Constitution. This will be followed by President Joe Biden in his Corvette towing the Escalator float on which Donald Trump perpetually tries to go down an up escalator. Both will be tossing top secret documents to the crowd.

At the rear of the parade, the Dark Money Radical Republican Marionette float will feature puppets Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), Paul Gosar (R-AZ), Matt Gaetz (R-FL), Scott Perry (R-PA), and Lauren Boebert (R-CO) pulling Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy’s (R-CA) strings, while puppets Elise Stefanik (R-NY), Ted Cruz (R-TX), and Lindsey Graham (R-SC) run behind, desperately trying to appear relevant.

Weaving through the parade will be costumed look-alikes including Will Smith randomly smacking people in the crowd, Johnny Depp and Amber Heard smacking each other, and Herschel Walker smacking himself. A Chinese Spy Balloon will track the entire route of the parade.

Says organizer Joey Skaggs, “The light at the end of the tunnel is a colonoscopy.”

As the parade enters Washington Square Park, the festivities will include a Prehistoric Mammoth Bones Dig sponsored by Joe Rogan in Washington Square Fountain, and a Burning Pit for educational books deemed inappropriate by religious extremists. A Politician Effigy-Burning was planned, but deemed too damaging for the environment.

There will be a Sign-Up Booth for Trump 2024 Pardons hosted by Rudy Giuliani; a ChatGPT Degree Booth where you can get a free Bachelors, Masters, Doctorate, or Nursing degree; a Pegasus Spyware Booth where you can collect intel on your friends and enemies; a Migrant Sign-Up Booth where Florida Governor Ron DeSantos will register people for a free trip to Disneyland in California; and a Ticket Master Booth for non-existent Taylor Swift tickets. Wendy’s will be serving ecoli-free tossed salads.

Porta-potties will be provided by Elon Musk (bring your own toilet paper). Security and clean-up will be provided by the now-defunct Scorpion Unit of the Memphis Police Department in conjunction with Vladimir Putin’s Wagner Group mercenaries.

The parade will be funded by IOUs from Alex Jones and FTX CEO Sam Bankman-Fried; the sale of Hunter Biden paintings; and an auction of Trump’s NFT Collection. This year’s King of Fools will be nominated by the crowd and will reign through March 31, 2024. The April Fools’ Day Parade committee takes no responsibility for damage caused by satire.

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Parade Description
Courtesy ChatGPT (chat.openai.com)

The New York City April Fools’ Day Parade is a satirical parade that has been held annually in New York City since 1986. The parade is organized by American artist and satirist Joey Skaggs, who sought to use the format of the parade to parody social and political issues, as well as the media’s coverage of them.

The parade typically features a variety of tongue-in-cheek floats, costumes and performances that often mock current events and poke fun at politicians, celebrities, and other public figures. It is known for its irreverent and often absurdist humor, as well as its willingness to tackle controversial and taboo subjects.

While the parade is not officially sanctioned by the city, it has become a beloved annual tradition and is enjoyed by locals and tourists alike. It typically draws a large crowd of spectators. Participants are encouraged to show up in costume and join the fun.

The New York April Fools’ Committee is not a formal organization, but rather a loosely organized group of artists, writers, performers, and other creative individuals who come together each year to plan and execute the parade. It is also supported by a network of volunteers and donors who contribute their time and resources to make the event a success.

https://joeyskaggs.com/

Knutzen of Edendale Recommends: Nasty Biden Audio Deepfakes

So far the prophecies of an apocalyptic, AI driven breach that will permanently detach us all from the Real have only resulted in some dank Joe Biden memes. Here’s two of the best I’ve found which, by the time you’ve read this, have probably circulated themselves out of internet coolness. Apologies for the tardiness.

pic.twitter.com/Di14FzAiXa

— David Hess (@Janitor_X) February 20, 2023

WTF Thursdays: Thomas Pynchon’s acceptance speech for the National Book Award for “Gravity’s Rainbow” as delivered by Professor Irwin Corey

Thursday, April 18, 1974,  Alice Tully Hall,  Lincoln Center, New York

Professor Irwin Corey:
    

However… accept this financial stipulation – ah – stipend in behalf of, uh, Richard Python for the great contribution and to quote from some of the missiles which he has contributed…Today we must all be aware that protocol takes precedence over procedure. Howewer you say – WHAT THE – what does this mean… in relation to the tabulation whereby we must once again realize that the great fiction story is now being rehearsed before our very eyes, in the Nixon administration… indicating that only an American writer can receive…the award for fction, unlike Solzinitski whose fiction doesn’t hold water.

Comrades – friends, we are gathered here not only to accept in behalf of one recluse – one who has found that the world in itself which seems to be a time not of the toad – to quote even Studs TurKAL. And many people ask “Who are Studs TurKAL?” It’s not “Who are Studs TurKAL?” it’s “Who amStuds TurKAL?” This in itself as an edifice of the great glory that has gone beyond, and the intuitive feeling of the American people, based on the assumption that the intelligence not only as Mencken once said, “He who underestimates the American pubic – public, will not go broke.”

This is merely a small indication of this vast throng gathered here to once again behold and to perceive that which has gone behind and to that which might go forward into the future…we’ve got to hurdle these obstacles. This is the main deterrent upon which we have gathered our strength and all the others who say, “What the hell did that get?” – We don’t know. We’ve got to peforce withold the loving boy… And as Miller once said in one of his great novels- what did he … that language is only necessary when communication is endangered.

And you sit there bewildered, and Pinter who went further said “It is not the lack of communication but fear of communication.” That’s what the Goddamn thing is it’s we fear – communication. Oh – fortunately the prize has only been given to authors – unlike the Academy Award which is given to a female and a male, indicating the derision of the human specie – God damn it! But we have no paranoia, and Mr. Pynchon has attained, and has created for himself serenity, and it is only the insanity that has kept him alive in his paranoia.

We speak of the organ…of the orgasm…Who the hell wrote this? And the jury has determined to divide the prize between two writers – to Thomas Pynchon for his GRAVITY’S RAINBOW. Now GRAVITY’S RAINBOW is a token of this man’s genius…he told me so himself…that he could…in other words, have been more specific, but rather than to allude the mundane, he has come to the conclusion that brevity is the importance of our shallow existence. God damn. Ladies and Gentlemen.

To the distinguished panel on the, on the dais and to the other winners, for poetry and religion and science. The time will come when religion will outlive its usefulness. Marx, Groucho Marx, once said that religion is the opiate of the people. I say that when religion outlives its usefulness, then opium…will be the opiate…Ahh that’s not a bad idea… All right…However, I want to thank Mr. Guinzburg, Tom Guinzburg of the Viking Press, who has made it possible for you people to be here this evening to enjoy the Friction Citation – the Fiction Citation. 

GRAVITY’S RAINBOW – a small contribution to a certain degree, since there are over three and a half billion people in the world today. 218 of them … million live in the United States which is a very, very small amount compared to those that are dying elsewhere…Well, I say that you will be on the road to new horizons, for we who live in a society where sex is a commodity and a politician can become a TV personality, it’s not easy to conform if you have any morality…I, I, I said that myself many years ago…

But I do want to thank the bureau…I mean the committee, the organization for the $10,000 they’ve given out…tonight they made over $400,000 and I think that I have another appointment. I would like to stay here, but for the sake of brevity I, I must leave. I do want to thank you, I want to thank Mr. TurKAL. I want to thank Mr. Knopf who just ran through the auditorium* and I want to thank Breshnev, Kissinger – acting President of the Unites States – and also want to thank Truman Capote and thank you. _________________________________________________________________________
* refering to the streaker who ran nude across the stage.
( transcribed by  Richard Corey) (Found on the archived official Irwin Corey website)